You’ve already decided he’s the one, but soon it will be time to take one final step: moving in together. After all the hoopla and planning surrounding your wedding and all it entails, officially living together will be your chance to relax, enjoy each other’s company and share your lives by sharing your space. Exciting as it is, this is a chance for both happy moments and potential conflict. That said, here are our tips for moving in together after the wedding:
Revel in the Excitement
First and foremost, remember to make it fun. Much like wedding planning, this move will require lots of to-do lists and a major time commitment. But don’t lose sight of what this is: a chance to further your relationship with the one you love – and every night is a sleepover!
Realize it Might Take Time to Adjust
Just as you have a daily routine, so does he. While yours might include hitting snooze three times each morning and doing a thorough cleaning session every Sunday, his might consist of waking up early to cook breakfast and cleaning rarely. You have to remember that neither one is right and neither one is wrong, but you might need to do some adjusting to find what works for both of you.
Talk Things Out
Adjusting to life together requires some honest conversations. There's no need for anyone to stew over daily habits and let that resentment seep into the relationship. Make a commitment to be honest and upfront when things are bothering you, and ask him to do the same… because stomping around and giving the silent treatment rarely gets anyone anywhere!
If you’ve been picturing an all-white living room with splashes of color delivered via pillows and vases, there’s a chance your new hubby’s green hand-me-down chair and striped shag rug might not jive with your vision. This is where compromise comes into play, because it’s his living room, too. Maybe your vision needs to change a bit, or maybe he’ll decide you can decorate the living room and he’ll handle the bedroom. No matter how you settle it, it’s important to be open to each other’s ideas, and respect that while you might detest his bust of Abraham Lincoln, he might equally detest your gold side table – and you have to deal accordingly.
Establish Some Ground Rules
In order to avoid some potential problems, think about making some rules before you even move in. Maybe he handles unloading the dishwasher and you do the laundry; maybe Wednesday nights are reserved for vacuuming, dusting and scrubbing; or maybe he offers to do the cooking if you do the cleanup. Regardless of where you land, establishing a routine means things get taken care of, if all goes according to plan!
Consider Moving Into a Brand New Space
Odds are, if you move into an apartment or house that one of you has lived in for years, every piece of furniture has a spot and the closets are probably already full. Consider moving into a neutral territory like a custom home, where you both have the space you need and it’s new for both of you. This way you get the ultimate fresh start and are both able to bring the stuff you love along for the ride.
It’s important to talk about money before merging your lives. If you decide to have a joint account, determine how expenses will be handled and stick to it. This includes being honest about spending habits and agreeing on limitations that jive with your combined salary. Some couples agree to have one checking account for shared expenses, like rent and household items, and another separate account for personal expenses like clothing and dining out.
It might take some time to adjust, but if you follow these steps and remember that cohabitation requires some flexibility, patience and love, soon your new home will be a happy one.
by Savannah Marie